Farewell Far Rock.
Friends, Romans, Countrymen: It is with much happiness that I am able to convey the news of my impending relocation to the borough of Brooklyn from Rockaway Beach, Queens. I will not miss the feature-film-length commute to work, nor shall I miss the portly woman who insists on cutting the line for the express bus every morning. I will not miss the obnoxious laundromat staff near my current residence, nor shall I miss the C-Town (which should, in any event, be immediately annihilated with a nuclear warhead–would it really kill them to at least try to mop the floor once and a while? Would it kill them to not be so hostile?).
I will miss the relative ease with which one can park a car in Rockaway Beach, though I won’t miss the fact that to drive a car out of the Rockaways (without going through Nassau County) requires one to pay a toll. Well, that’s it for now.
